Bending The Spoon


Personally Distorting A Perfect Reality

In the movie “Matrix” the protagonist of the story, as part of his education for his unique role is told, that trying to bend a spoon without touching it he needs to remember the truth, that there was no spoon. If he wanted to change, manipulate reality around him it is him, it is the observer that needs bending.

This advice would obviously go against how we usually perceive reality. We consider ourselves, our point of observation as given, static perceiving an ever changing world around us. But as that quote from the movie suggests true reality is very different.

We exist in a perfect, unchanging and infinite quantum reality. An ocean of perfection surrounds us. But we observe this reality in a completely subjective way, fully dependent on our own state, based on our own perceiving capabilities. 

Perception, attainment depends on the similarity in between the observer and the observed. At the moment we “cover, conceal” that perfect reality by our own imperfections. We litter, confuse and distort that selfless, transparent, bestowing and mutually complementing reality with our selfish, dark, heavy, individualistic and self-serving instinctive form.

Locked In A Destructive Paradox


Thus if we wanted to view reality “as it is”, in its full splendour and perfection, first we ourselves would need to become like it, “splendid” and perfect, transparent, selfless and objective. The closer we get to the selfless, transparent, unconditionally loving and giving qualities of the perfect reality in ourselves the more we can sense and understand it in its totality without distortion. Through matching qualities we could fully immerse in it and study it from within.

Implementing this is very difficult, near impossible on multiple counts. First of all thanks to our inherently proud, self-serving and self-justifying nature we already think we are splendid and perfect without any need to change. When we commit mistakes or commit even crimes, sooner or later we can justify our own actions, absolving ourselves of any personal responsibilities. Since we think we are perfect, not needing any changes we constantly try to change the world, including everybody else around us trying to “correct things”. 

We try to fit everything within our own subjective worldview, point of view, opinions and “just” demands. Thus we are in constant struggle, fight as others and in general the Universe we exist in don’t seem to agree with our subjective viewpoint.

Moreover as the same struggle is playing out in each and every human being we are individually and collectively in an inevitable, unsolvable crisis today, constantly clashing with each other as my “perfect world”, my truth is very different of that of others. In this Babylonian cacophony we are inevitably sleepwalking towards a global meltdown. 

Obviously nobody would accept personal or even collective responsibility for humanity’s misguided direction, thus subsequently nobody could or would change anything from their point of view. Even when we negotiate, try discussing possible solutions we keep on debating, arguing in between us being hell-bent on convincing others about our own truth instead of coming to mutual agreements, practical and sustainable solutions.

Moreover our inherently self-serving and self-justifying nature is imprinted in us by default, this is the basic matter, and operating software we are born with. Thus even if we wanted we can’t just simply decide to change our own nature as one can’t lift oneself by pulling one’s own hair.

Correction Around Round Table


We would need a special method and a unique human laboratory in order to change the observer, so we could rise above our present reason, above instinctive behavioural patterns and perceive reality in its totality, undisturbed.

This unique laboratory would serve two functions.

First it would help us in diagnosing how much we are really self-serving and self-justifying, completely unfit to perceive reality objectively without selfish distortion.

Then it would also provide the remedy for the revealed “sickness”, giving us the necessary correction and a new sense enabling us to enter and perceive reality without disturbing it attaining it in its totality.

This unique life-changing and fate-changing laboratory is actually very simple. It doesn’t need anything else but a round table with a few, 5-10 chairs around it and the practical method of implementation. 

The Principle Of Mutual Guarantee


The method implemented is an ancient one, developed over three thousand years ago in ancient Mesopotamia. That was the first time when our inherently selfish, egoistic nature made such an evolutionary jump, that the previous close interconnections, mutually complementing cooperation people lived within got disrupted. 

A wise empirical natural scientist of that generation – after observing mutual, integration, balance and homeostasis in nature – introduced the principle of “love your friend as yourself” to people. He connected to himself like minded other “empirical, natural scientists” with similar personal sensitivity, establishing, “fathering” first a group and later a whole nation living by that principle.

Although today this principle is usually treated as mysticism, religious dogma or just another nice slogan, it is actually precisely depicting the most fundamental law in nature: mutual guarantee.

Mutual guarantee describes the selfless, unconditional, mutually complementing cooperation in a closed ecosystem that meticulously maintains balance and homeostasis. Without those life and optimal development is unsustainable. In a system operating by mutual guarantee all elements only make calculations, and work for the benefit, well-being of the whole collective. There is no individual, self-concern as participating elements “blindly” trust the system providing them with all of their natural necessities in the most optimal, perfect way, while facilitating them contributing to the system with 100% of their best abilities.

Of course in nature this system is all “built-in”, instinctive. On the other hand human beings would need to reach it against, above their inherently self-serving and self-justifying nature. This is why without the purposeful, methodical, practical implementation of “love your friend as yourself” such fundamental change is impossible.



The action in this human laboratory around the round table is very simple. The participants start discussing any topic that draws wide ranging, differing opinions, topics that interests all participants. Then after each “deposits” their own, usual individual opinions in the circle during the first round, as initial material to work with, through the subsequent rounds they all start working in a unique way, very differently from other discussion tables, negotiations.

Each makes it their absolute goal to completely nullify their own opinions, hang onto, and immerse themselves into the opinions and thoughts of the others. They want those other opinions to wash them over completely, erasing their own initial opinions, suggestions. They want to erase their own initial “monolithic”, subjective software, installing a new, multi-dimensional objective one instead.

As the circle keeps on going, on their turn they each try adding to the forming mutual opinion without negating, arguing with others, thus creating a mutual flow. Instead of pushing their own argument on the others they accept their arguments unconditionally, simply facilitating, enriching the developing mutual circulation, mutual opinion constructed.

It is of course easier said than done since our inherent nature can only allow such selfless, altruistic behaviour to a certain limit. Beyond that limit this egocentric, self-justifying nature starts showing all kinds of negative reactions towards the others. Inner criticism, negative judgement appears. The person suddenly finds countless excuses for dismissing the opinions of the others. Our inner core, the egoistic self keeps stubbornly holding on to the subjective, personal opinion trying to push it into the circle rejecting everything that comes from others.

It takes some time and experience until the person can recognise and arrest such negative, instinctive thoughts, inclinations. And it takes even more time until one can stabilise this recognition strong and long enough in order to act wilfully against it. When that time comes the person becomes able to “freeze the moment” despite and on top of the instinctive negative reaction. 

Then one would need to start “bending” oneself around reality, moving the observer point away from the instinctive, self-serving position. The person would need to try “going around” the others,  tasting, analysing their opinions until one can find an angle from which one can accept and justify those others and their opinion. 

It is like stopping a 3D movie where one could move around the characters until finding that single point where from the collective, mutual picture makes sense and interconnects into a single united whole. By doing this repeatedly, consistently after a while one could remain with a single “expert point”, observer that can objectively examine the picture freely roaming in it, while gaining unlimited viewing angles, completely detached from one’s original subjective point of view.

Opening A Window


Still the more one tries to “bend”, abandon the instinctively egoistic, self-justifying inherent character the more the person starts feeling the unbreakable chains, anchor tying one to one’s instinctive, self-centred being. And a person can’t just cut loose of one’s own inherent self as one can’t simply stop breathing in order to commit suicide. The built-in subconscious defence mechanism kicks in, takes over. 

The person is not alone in this inner struggle. Around that round table all participants are making the same effort, trying to rise above their own reasons, instinctive reactions. They are all fighting that difficult inner effort trying to break away from their inherent inclinations.

And this committed mutual effort can succeed. Their similar mutual effort aimed at the same purpose can neutralise their egoistic self-defence. Their mutual inner struggle for self-nullification, trying to brainwash themselves with the opinions of the others opens a vacuum, a vortex, an unprecedented gateway in the centre of their circle.

And this gateway becomes their mutual window through which they received the opportunity to start observing reality in an undisturbed, objective manner.

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