Solid But False Self-Image

When we think about ourselves we usually have a very solid picture of who we are. We understand we go through certain changes while we are growing and through getting older. We also acquire experience, increasing knowledge, wisdom through the years. Still our self-image doesn’t go through “violent”, extreme changes. In truth we have no idea who lives “under our skin”.

This gradually static image remains constant until we -either by increasing pressures, disappointment, failures in life, or by an intensifying, irrepressible question about meaning of life picking our brain – start searching beyond the confines of a regular, “normal” human life.

Until that point we simply chase and try to fulfill necessities our animate (sex, food, family), and social (wealth, dominion, fame, knowledge) desires present to us. But the desire to find our meaning of life starts, raises us above those desires, knocking on a previously unvisited dimension.

In The Laboratory

After one starts a long search, driven by the question about meaning of life, sooner or later the person find oneself in a unique human environment with the tools and method for completing that search. When one enters this unique “human laboratory” in order to learn about and then reach this meaning one goes through unprecedented changes. 

In order to reach our purpose in the system of reality, understanding the meaning of life we need to purify ourselves of all previous ideas, convictions, judgements creating a clean, empty vessel, like starting life again with an empty page. After all nobody can fulfill a cup that is already full.

This is of course easier said than done since our inherent operating software with is completely egocentric, subjective perception, self-justifying reasoning is engraved in us to the greatest depth of our being. Thus we need to generate a great, explosive force in order to melt the hard, selfish, egoistic, proud crust covering our softer, malleable interior.

A Love-Hate Relationship

The only force capable of unlocking a person, clouding one’s solid, inherent reason enough to get behind it is the elemental tension in between love and hate. In our usual lives we don’t normally experience these two contrasting emotions at the same time, we are not capable of handling such paradox. But in the unique human laboratory it is exactly this paradoxical tension that people try to generate.

As mentioned above in order to purify our vessels of perception, in order to create that blank page we need to leave our inherent convictions, reasoning behind. But one can’t just shed one’s inherent program, jump out of one’s own skin. But we can attempt to enter others, trying to accept, take on the desires, reasoning of others in order to replace our own.

This mutual “brain and heart exchange”, clothing into each other what the members of the “human laboratory” attempt through a series of exercises, workshops, trying to reject their own ideas, criticism, negative judgement of others, nullifying themselves towards the others.

They can generate such an atmosphere, importance through their mutual work that the yearning to reach “mutual love of others” becomes a true, burning necessity for them. But at the same time their inherently self-protecting, egocentric nature, ready to preserve, magnify the self at all cost starts to fight back. The more effort they exert the more their inherent nature rejects the others, rejects the connection, inciting true hatred towards those others.

At the end this developing love-hate contrast, tension, heat reaches a critical, peak volume. At that point this intolerable heat confuses,”melts” the selfish defensive system and the proud, individualistic crust is penetrated. As a result, for the first time in their lives the participants receive a unique opportunity to look into themselves, observing extraordinary transformations.

Emotional Fluidity

They start to see a unique fluid emotional picture, devoid of any of the external “human” attributes, qualities. In a mind boggling display they showcase constant, frequent, fundamental changes, transforming themselves for animate to human form, taking on female or male qualities, ranging in maturity from a newborn to a wise elderly sage.

When they relate to each other through their inherent, hateful nature they are on the instinctive, animate level and as soon as they start rising above those instincts, trying to relate to one another through altruistic love they transform to a human form.

When they behave passively, needing support, fulfilment from the others they showcase “female” qualities, while when they actively support, fulfill the others they change those qualities to “male” ones. These “female/male” qualities have no relevance to their original, “external” gender.

These transformations, the metamorphosis they go through happen through multiple steps, stages and each stage starts from “zero”, from another self-purification, blank page. Thus they go through a whole range of maturation from being like a newborn till becoming a wise old sage, until they become like a newborn again.

Integral Research

These forms have nothing to do with how we consider them in our regular, external life. These attributes simply describe their mutual relationships towards one another that change from moment to moment. They need to go through these fluid changes like molten metal in order to be moulded, forged, so a perfect, mutually complementing whole becomes of them.

They have to become like a synchronized super-commando, a perfect orchestra where they keep changing roles, instruments, complementing each other in the most optimal way. They have to form a single body with selflessly, mutually collaborating cells and organs.

Only in such a perfect, unified form, by reaching similarity of attributes with it can they enter, integrate into the vast, cosmic system of reality in order to start their “insider” research, exploration, until they reveal the whole plan of development and its purpose with their own precisely determined role in it.

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