Stuck In The Wall

Introverted Chaos

We are born with a completely self-serving and self-justifying nature. Our basic operating software works on an egocentric “pleasure/pain principle”. In order to make this software the most effective our perception of reality – collecting data, information, sensory input from reality – is totally introverted and subjective.

All our interaction with the world around us, including all elements – inanimate, vegetative, animate and human – of nature has to serve our “self”. All data and information has to reinforce our indomitable self-belief, has to support our all important self-esteem.

But since we all work on the same software, we are all born with the same nature, today we have 7-8 billion uniquely individual, introverted loners who only serve themselves and fiercely distrust, compete with the others. This explains the general picture, state of the world we see around us.


Self-Recognition In The Laboratory

At least today – as we are entering the 12th hour of our sleepwalk towards mutually assured self-destruction – we started to wake up to the fact that it is our inherent nature, and the instinctively self-serving, subjective perception of reality that is harming us and going to kill us. But recognition of this “evil” is one thing while correcting, healing it is another.

How impossible to change our own nature only comes to light when we start seriously putting effort in such self-correction. Only when we enter a purposefully created, organized special human environment -with the right methodology and teacher – do we start truly recognizing this inherent “evil” in us and how impossible it is to escape from it.

The whole “laboratory”, with its methodology and exercises, “experiments” is aimed at changing one’s inherent perception of reality, specifically aimed at how the participating people look at each other, evaluate one another. They set out to do everything in their power to force themselves considering the others more important, more valuable then themselves. They want to only focus on the positive qualities, attributes of those others, pushing aside, filtering out anything negative, restricting criticism, harmful judgement.

But the more they try to assume positive perception, the more they try to accept and embrace those others without any selfish calculations, the deeper they find themselves in criticism, negative judgement, rejection, even outright hatred against the others. They feel like a person trying frantically to escape from a swamp, quick sand but the more effort he exerts the deeper he sinks.

Lacking The Radio Receiver

Perception of reality works on similarity of qualities. As long as we are stuck in our inherently selfish, egoistic, subjective perception full of distrust, contempt towards others we have no other possibility but to see similar qualities in the others. We are unable to identify, sense, positive, selfless, altruistic qualities in anybody else when we ourselves don’t possess such qualities.

Anything truly positive, altruistic, unconditionally serving, bestowing remains outside of our spectrum of perception lacking matching qualities, notions in our own devices. We simply don’t have the “radio receiver” with matching frequencies in order to capture such qualities in the world around us.

Overcharged Atmosphere

This realization induces true despair in the prior in the laboratory, since they also start to see that there is absolutely no way they could abandon the nature, perception they were born with. What happens from this point on depends on how much they yearn to acquire a different nature, different perception even if they have no idea about how that would be possible.

They need to artificially generate a great yearning for such a selfless, altruistic, objective perception, using all the tools and tricks the purposeful methodology offers. They need to artificially, externally showcase strength, positive example towards one another, playing out as if they already acquired such perception while fully, mutually supporting one another. Then through this artificially created, charged mutual atmosphere they can continue inching towards the unknown.

Without such artificially generated, charged atmosphere within the circle they would just run away as soon as the difficulties, failures become intolerable. Or they would just keep politely participating, staying there for years, cautiously remaining at a “safe distance away from the fire”, simply, mechanically, passively following proceedings, while constantly reassuring and justifying themselves.

In A Complete Deadlock

But the “heroes”, who close their eyes, five into the center of the circle, blindly following the methodology, manage to pull and push each other towards their common goal. As a result sooner or later they find themselves in an intolerable tension, short circuit. They have become completely committed, “fanatic” about reaching a new type of selfless, altruistic perception above, against their inherent one. But at the same time they know for certain that they would never have a chance of reaching it.

Through their mutual game, inspiration they even received a hint, an imagined picture, a slight sniff at how such perception might feel, operate, but they feel firmly stuck in the stone wall of their inherently selfish, egoistic matter, unable to move.

They already understand that if they had a chance of seeing reality perfectly, objectively, they would see the same negative qualities that are presenting a broken picture now, mutually complementing each other in a perfect, harmonious live mosaic. Instead of the presently perceived, distressing cacophony they would marvel at a beautifully conducted cosmic orchestra passing the most beautiful melodies. But right now the harmony, the mutual interconnections, and the conductor is missing.

This is a truly desperate, impossible state where they are unable to move even an inch either forward or backwards. It is like being locked into solitary confinement in a box that one can hardly fit in, where one can only stand with no option to move a finger. The person can’t even collapse, can’t sleep, can’t escape or do anything except yearning desperately for any resolution.

The Miracle Of “Human” Existence

The first such resolution that emerges from this intolerable state is an unprecedented, almost superhuman clarity. They suddenly realize that they would never be able to escape from their inherent nature, perception, they are eternally stuck into the wall of their selfish egos. They know that with their inherent vision they will forever see those others and the whole world around them as broken, useless, disgusting, revolting and hateful.

At the same time they also know that since they exist in this fully integrated and interdependent world their lives, existence and the existence of their loved ones completely depends on those others and the world beyond them. Thus they have no other option but to interconnect with those others above and against their inherent reason, inherent perception. How? They don’t know, but they consent to anything, completely subduing, nullifying themselves to their state, yearning for a solution.

Then a miracle happens. While they are fully aware that their inherent nature did not change at all, they feel released from that “solitary confinement” and they sense a new surge, new capability streaming through them allowing them to connect to those others, serve those others, elevate them above themselves.

They feel as lifeless, hapless marionette figures manipulated, animated to perform acts that are beyond their capabilities, while their inherent “self” observes this action with dismay, being perplexed. They clearly sense a never before experienced “dual personality”.

Of course this state is not a miracle as there are no miracles in a natural system operating on clear, unbending natural laws. What they achieved was reactivating a long forgotten, dormant natural software deep inside. They reactivated the instinctive animate software helping parts of the natural system to stay integrated, adapted, participating on its selfless, altruistic, mutually complimenting collaboration.

In that moment of utter desperation this hidden software of integral survival became switched on, providing them with the ability of instinctive adaptation, integration. But since it is now working alongside, above their default, opposite, selfish and egoistic human software, it gives the human beings “supernatural” contrast, comparative research capabilities.

Thus although the new perception, behavior “regressed” them into becoming instinctive elements in nature’s vast, cosmic system, since they retain the acquired duality they remain fully conscious and free in their observations. And this gives them a qualitatively much higher level of “truly Human” existence.

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