At The Gate Of Tears


Our intellect, perception of reality works in a way that we can only perceive, sense, discern things from within contrasts. We wouldn’t be able to discern what cold is if we didn’t also sense warmth before. It is the same with sweet and bitter, close and far, depth and height and so on. It is also true for emotional impressions, we can only truly know what love is when against it we already felt hatred.

Our inner “matter” what drives us is the elemental desire for pleasure, fulfillment for ourselves. When that desire received its fulfillment we feel contentment, happiness, pleasure, while as long as our need, yearning remains unfulfilled we feel discontent, pain or suffering.

But again these discernments are the strongest when the contrasts is the greatest in between them. Thus the greatest pleasure we receive for a fulfilment is when the yearning, the pain, the suffering for not receiving that fulfilment is the strongest. Thus people who can control their desires and their fulfilment a bit more tend to delay the reception, acceptance of pleasure, fulfillment as then the subsequent satisfaction is much greater.

Pleasure Delaying

We consciously, unconsciously use this “pleasure delaying” in different forms, when lovers flirt with each other for example, or when we are satisfying our animate desires of food and sex, or when we delay children opening their presents to curb up their yearning, expectation to the highest possible level.

Some people take these pleasure delaying tactics, or seeking contrasts to extreme levels. For example people practising “extreme sports” try to take themselves to the very edge in between physical life and death, searching for the sense of that insane emotional spectrum in between the realistic near death experience and the unprecedented pleasure of a “superhuman” physical feat they never tried before. Even the very high probability of losing their lives can’t hold them back from opening up that exhilarating emotional palette.

Contrasting Evolutionary States

We need these stark contrasts, these intolerable states of yearning before fulfillment comes. Otherwise we would not be able to precisely scrutinize, reveal what exactly we want, and how much we truly need what we are yearning for. Without such clear, purified, sharp, intolerable yearning, need we wouldn’t appreciate, hold onto the pleasure, fulfillment when it comes.

Natural evolution is using a similar “tactics” when shifting the natural system, its elements from one evolutionary state to the next one. It gradually builds a very clear need in the system for that next state while also allowing the system, its creatures to sense that by regular logic and reason reaching that next state is simply impossible. Then in that intolerable deadlock, through the impossible, irresistible need a “miracle” happens and the system and its creatures are shifted onto the next state through some unprecedented change, explosion.

Of course in the natural system these shifts happen unconsciously, elements, species disappear, while others are newly created, inanimate elements become vegetative, vegetative change to animate. Only humanity received a chance to experience these evolutionary jumps in a conscious way.

Destructive Natural Course

Until our times humanity also progressed through an unconscious, instinctive development path, shifting from state to state through recurring vicious cycles. Each civilization starts with a new hopeful general ideology, societal, economic and governing structures, only to run into crisis, a dead end. Then some violent, destructive explosion propels people into the next civilization which is built on the ruins of the previous one.

The civilization ending violent explosions are getting more and more intense, while the cycles are shortening. Seemingly we need ever greater contrast in order to “agree” to shift towards the next desired state. This also means – considering the terrible destruction the last such explosion caused only 70-80 years ago, and our increased capability of self-destruction – that the next civilization shifting explosion could wipe out most of our species, leaving only very few to continue human evolution onwards.

We are in a great need to find another way of reaching the necessity contrast, the insatiable, irrepressible need to shift, taking our evolutionary development into our own hands.

Agreement Out Of Despair

For such conscious control we would need to understand the system we exist in and the general plan according to which the system develops.

When we look at the natural Universe and how it evolved since the Big Bang, we see a vast, cosmic system that has become increasingly more diverse, complex, while on the other hand the mutually complementing interaction in between the comprising elements also increased both qualitatively and quantitatively.

A good example is how the inherently “cancer-like” single cell organisms – only concerned for their own survival – “agreed” to give up their unique individuality in order to become multi-cellular organisms, where each only plays a totally subdued, mutually contributing, mutually complementing part for the sake of collective survival.

Of course that collective survival provides the individual cells with more secure, much longer, sustainable survival and a qualitatively much higher existence. Still such “agreement” in order to become from a “king of my own castle” to a simple, serving cogwheel in a vast machinery takes a lot of “persuasion” from evolution’s force. After all the individual elements are originally incapable of making calculations for anything else but their own individual survival.

They had no initial understanding, comprehension, precedence of mutual existence, collective survival. The inherently self-centered, self-serving, introverted organisms need a complete, shocking despair, disappointment in their own power, capability regarding survival in order to agree to the complete self-annulment, inserting themselves into the collective as a simple cogwheel.

Humanity’s Evolutionary Call

Again – although we could create a nice Disney like cartoon based on this, making out of single cells “humanoid characters”, going through life changing debates, decisions – this whole process plays out in nature unconsciously, instinctively. But in order to secure our own collective human survival, to soften, facilitate the changes we need to go through according to evolution’s plan, we human beings have to make this process fully conscious.

Today we are reaching unprecedented, historic revelations about ourselves and the system we exist in. As we are all recognizing that we evolved into a globally integrated and fully interdependent world. We also started to sense the unbreakable ties connecting us to one another. We are also reluctantly accepting that contrary to popular belief we are still fully integrated parts of the natural Universe we evolved from.

Still we are not fully conscious about the real life implications of these evolutionary conditions. Following our inherently self-serving, self-justifying nature we still stubbornly try to ruthlessly compete with one another, we still try exploiting the inevitable mutual interconnections for our own selfish interest.

But overall more and more people started to – at least mentally – comprehend that we are obliged to become a collective Human “super-organism” with a collective intelligence in order to adapt to, become integrated within nature’s evolutionary system.

In The Incubator

In order to avoid going through this obliged change, full integration with each other and within the natural Universe through nature’s coercive, destructive way, providing intolerable physical suffering so our selfish, individualistic ego “agrees” to submit to the cogwheel role, we need to create an inner need, inner despair.

This way we could initiate, draw on ourselves the changes proactively, always a step ahead of natural evolution forcing us. This way we could “awaken the dawn”, force evolution’s force to facilitate the necessity changes at our request.

We need to reach the “gate of tears”, a paradoxical state where our selfish ego is in utter despair, having exhausted all possible forces to reach the changes heroically by itself, while we are in utter happiness, opening up a direct channel, communication with nature’s evolutionary force specially as a result of that despair.

Such a paradoxical, internally, utterly broken but still infinitely happy, elated state can only be generated in a unique human laboratory, incubator. The principle aim of the work in this incubator is building an insatiable, intolerable yearning for the desired, selfless, altruistic, mutually complementing interconnections, while realizing at the same time that it is completely impossible to reach through our own, inherently selfish, egoistic nature.

Thus the selected, fully committed members of this special incubator set out to artificially build unprecedented, “superhuman”, selfless, altruistic, unconditionally serving, caring mutual in between them, completely nullifying their own “selves”. Of course this incites, enrages the inherently self-serving, self-justifying nature in them, creating a bitter inner war. An interesting dualism evolves.

Through that inner war the inherent inclination tries all kinds of tactics to prevent them reaching their goal, misleading, obstructing, bringing them all along. At the end when it senses that the members – through a small spark, mutual inspiration towards their collective purpose – are so committed that it is unable to turn them away from their goal, the inherently selfish ego tries to prove that it can reach the goal heroically by itself.

The Escape

The aim of the methodology, the desired end point of the whole process is leading the selfish ego into a dead end, reaching a complete, utter defeat where the person’s ego realizes it can neither prevent the changes nor can it achieve it by its own power, capability. Thus the person – whose inner matter, driving force can only come from the ego – becomes totally, utterly despaired of its own forces, becomes pulverized, defeated and capitalizes.

But at the sane time their “second personality” – that little point, the mutual inspiration they generated – knowing well in advance that the goal of the incubator to take them to this breaking point is happy, elated like never before. Through this inner break the selfish ego grants permission for the person to “leave”.

The ego temporarily suspends its complete governance over the person just enough, so the person, using the mutual momentum the members of the incubator generated, can insert oneself into their mutual guarantee, becoming selfless, altruistic servants of one another in full self-annulment.

Of course the selfish ego doesn’t disappear, it is only temporarily defeated and after seeing how the mutual guarantee, the selfless, altruistic provide a higher quality of life it immediately roars back, demanding its share. A new inner struggle starts but it is already based on different foundations, since the members of the mutual guarantee have precedence, real taste of the “other kind” of selfless, altruistic existence, giving them two equal reins to work with.

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