Who Do You Hate, Who Do You Love?

Hateful People Locked Into One Common Boat

Today we live in a very chaotic, unpredictable world. Seemingly extremism, incitement, unrestrained hate is filling the world, overcoming even the usually “liberal”, “bleeding heart” people. It seems everybody is at war with everybody else.

What we are observing is actually not surprising for those who have a slightly deeper knowledge about human nature. After all we are all born with an instinctively self-serving, self-justifying and hateful nature, that rejects everything and everybody that one’s “self” deems different, “other”. Previously our nature wasn’t as sharply obvious as it is today.

Our selfish egos have been intensifying, growing for thousands of years, driving our evolution, our discoveries, our desire to grow and improve. But in our times this growth has become exponential on one hand, while on the other hand we also entered a new era in human history, the globally integrated, globally interdependent phase.

And our maximally developed, completely self-serving, self-justifying egoistic selves are becoming in a completely self-destructive way, like cancer in this new, global, integral human system. 7-8 billion proud, unique, selfish, narcissistic prima donnas find themselves locked onto the same, sinking, common boat. Thus in order to find a way of mutually surviving, saving this common ship from sinking, drowning all of us, we need to look into the mirror and try to find a solution for this destructive, mutual hate.

We Are Hating Ourselves

So what do we actually hate in others? Our inherent nature can’t stand to be lower than anybody else, it always has to justify itself, feel itself on top. Envy, jealousy, desire for respect, to have what others have are our greatest motivation for growth, development. These seemingly “negative attributes” could even be used in a positive, constructive way within the right environment, within optimal conditions. But in our usual, general society these attributes, our prideful self-justification at all cost works in a destructive, negative manner.

Thus our self, in order to justify itself, to put itself on top in any circumstances have to demean, lower, hate, despise others that are outside of one’s “inner circle”. And this “inner circle these days hardly goes beyond the self as even families are falling apart.

But there is an even deeper, more interesting part in our hate towards others which originates from our perception of reality. As a result of our inherent nature, our mind that can only calculate for the benefit, fulfilment of the self, our perception of reality is completely introverted, subjective. We are filtering the whole of reality according to our unique, personal, selfish interest. This already narrows down what we actually compute from the outside world.

Moreover perception works on similarity of qualities in between the perceiving observer and the perceived reality. Unless I have the same templates, qualities, memory fragments in me that matches the qualities, templates that are surrounding me, I have no ability to make a connection and capture that notion from the outside world. Unless I can tune my own “radio receiver” to the frequency that surrounds me, I have no ability to receive that broadcast.

Which means that what I perceive from this outside reality is the reflection of my own qualities, templates, since unless I have those templates, pictures in me I wouldn’t be able to perceive, compute them, make sense of them. It is as if the reality I view around me is nothing else but the external projection, the mirror image of my own internal qualities, attributes.

Thus what I hate in others is actually my own internal qualities, attributes that I see reflected back onto me from certain “actors”, “agents” helping me to see, sort, analyze and if necessary correct my own hateful, despicable qualities. When I hate anything or anybody “outside of me” in fact I hate myself, the qualities, attributes I have to correct in myself.

Reaching A Dead End

And it is true the other way around too. If I want to accept, love those others instead of hating them, I need to learn their states, what they go through. I would need to come to fully justifying them in order to became able to accept, love them as I would love anybody very close to me, like my child or a close, beloved relative.

This of course requires an unprecedented, “supernatural” self-transformation, becoming capable of accepting, justifying another against my own selfish ego’s instinctive criticism, negative judgement.

In order to go through the above recognition, realization and subsequent self-transforming in a sharp, controlled manner one needs to enter a unique, purposefully organized human laboratory. Only when a circle of people fully commit to first of all recognize their true nature, look into the mirror without any makeup, then generate an insatiable, irrepressible yearning fur the necessary, supernatural self-transformation, can this actually happen.

In this unique environment finally we can use the inherent “negative qualities” of envy, jealousy, desire for respect in a constructive way. Each member of the circle can inspire, “trick”, pull and push the others through play acting as if they were already capable of serving, loving the others above their instinctive nature. This mutual inspiration, mutual play acting can gradually elevate, pull time members of the circle above their instinctively protesting, fighting, obstructing nature that keeps inciting, hating, rejecting one against those others.

This intensifying inner war finally reaches a complete deadlock, when one is at a completely broken, frozen state from where there is no ability to move either forward or backwards. One – as a result of their mutual work – senses a yearning of “even death is better that continuing to live like that”, but one also senses very clearly that there is no chance, capability to actually reach what one wants. It is impossible to justify, love and serve others above self-interest, self-justification.

Supernatural Self-Transformation

We need to reach such desperately helpless state in order to neutralize our instinctive pride, our indomitable belief in our own heroic capabilities. Then such a true, immeasurable, silent inner “cry”, silent “prayer” for the ability of loving others above self-love, justifying others above self-justification can draw assistance from the natural, evolutionary system around us. It is actually an evolutionary, survival necessity for human beings to reach a state of selfless, altruistic mutual connection with one another.

Only through such mutually complementing collaboration, above inherent differences, and despite the instinctive distrust, rejection can we survive in a globally integrated, fully interdependent system. Only working together in harmony, each helping one another can we prevent our common boat sinking, and instead help it sailing towards a better, safer, peaceful and sustainable future.

Thus as a result of this silent “prayer” we receive “pre-planned” assistance from nature according to the plan of evolution. The difference is that by the proactive work in the human laboratory we can ourselves invite this “supernatural” self-transformation on ourselves instead of waiting for increasing suffering, near-extermination terror to bring such a silent or even very loud cry out of people.

And when the assistance comes suddenly we feel that above and despite the remaining criticism, rejection suddenly we can actually accept and justify the others through never before felt, unusual love, fondness towards them. It is like a new sound, broadcast appearing in our radio receiver above, overcoming the old, dark, deafening noise of our selfish ego.

And when we observe, watch ourselves accepting, loving, unconditionally serving those others we would rather instinctively criticise and reject, we know that it is not ourselves we are observing. We are observing nature’s overwhelming evolutionary force – that creates and nurtures life – acting through is, making us act above ourselves.


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